YOU Pay Us: Then We Give You a Job, Tsunami Warnings and More...

My TWO latest endeavors... aka... within the last 24 hours have both lead me to believe that I must first pay something and then I can get a job. It is sort of like collateral.... Yes, I mean pay actual cash, for an opportunity....

Career Possibility One: Managing Partner of a Company (sounds good... they are looking for someone to MANAGE, aka... handle day to day. In exchange: EQUITY.... still sounds good) And then comes this:

1. Invest in Us and we will invest in you.

"Tiffany, with all of these people, very qualified people unemployed right now, why should we invest in you until you invest in us first!!! This shows commitment, and what employers are looking for right now is a commitment."

Hmmmm, call me naive, but an investment to me can mean a lot of different things!!! For example, if I say I commit to working here, taking on an authoritative role, produce, manage people, go above and beyond to help turn this company around, and if you don't like what I've done at the end of 3 months, then we can re-evaluate. That seems like an investment from me!!

An investment to them: Cash up front, and, Cash up Front. And of course all that stuff above.

What about my worth? What about the value I can bring to your company that comes in a 5'9 body, strong, smart able to make deals, negotiate this company into a better place and bring fresh ideas and much more!!!! Can we start with that? Let me show you what I can do in exchange for equity because as a recent law school graduate.... believe me the cash is change, and change they really couldn't use.

CAREER POSSIBILITY TWO: ASSISTANT DIRECTOR

Moving on to the next possibility: Assistant Director. Okay. okay, I didn't go to law school for this however, I can assist and I can direct so this sounded pretty good. Plus, I would love to work in the entertainment industry, so this sounded awesome!! They found me through a talent agent site and said they were pleased with my qualifications for the position and would love to talk further. However, before they could set up an interview, I had to check out their site, tell them what I thought and fill out the packet.

As you already probably guessed, at the end of that packet was a pay now button? For a processing FEE?? Isn't that what interns or people like me looking for a job do? Process applications? In fact, let me process that application for the price listed... I will process all day and all night for that fee...

So at the end of this day, my dreams of being a managing partner and assistant director have swiftly moved away and tonight I am left with the thoughts of higher grounds as the Tsunami Warning for San Diego is now in effect for 9pm....

Until tomorrow!!!!

Tiffany Brooke aka Legally still Broke

Lawyer's Don't Check Emails

The Legal Secretary...

I never realized what a screening process lawyers have before you can actually reach them. With iPhones and Blackberrys and all of the instant connections we have for technology it seems like lawyers should be able to back to me quicker than they do..?

Law Office A: "Thank you for calling the law office of -----, how may I help you?"

Me: "Hi, How are you??? I am great!!! I graduated in May and took the July Bar and..."

Law Office: "I'm Sorry..."

Me: "You are sorry for what? I graduated... I took the bar, I am calling??"

Law Office: "Goodbye."

Hmmmmm..... maybe my delivery was too slow.... let me try again...

Law Office B: "Thank you for calling...."

Me: "Hello, I AM LOOKING TO COME IN AND WORK FOR FREE... I HAVE EXPERIENCE AND...."

Law Office: "I'm Sorry..."

LONG LONG LONG PAUSE....

Me: "Did I say free...?..."

Law Office: "Goodbye."

Email is even worse, they do not have their secretary screening calls... instead they just don't respond..

My email: "Hey, It's me again!!"...

Their thoughts: "Which law graduate are you????"

My thoughts: "This one!!!! The one that has a lot to offer; I am smart, I have people skills, I am soooo fun to work with!!!"

So, on this beautiful Monday in San Diego, I am going to memorize my script for a meeting at 4:30, see if the donkey caretaker position is still available, and see if there are any positions avalable for a legal secretary.... Yes.. I am onto something now......

Donkey Caretaker

This is the latest part-time job I came across today in my search for a job until I pass the bar AND when anyone starts hiring again for anything!! I put in my thoughts (...)!

DONKEY CARETAKER:

Description:

SALARY: $9.98/hr. (up to 1500 hrs/year) (Just in case you wanted to figure your annual salary you could potentially earn: $14,970!!!!!) I AM IN!!

As a Donkey Caretaker park aide, you would work with volunteers and park staff to provide the care necessary to keep the donkeys healthy and happy (that is important!), interact with the public while grooming, bathing and exercising the donkeys, maintain the upkeep of the stables, implement the composting program, and educate the public on the park’s history and the role of donkeys in the community.

KEY RESPONSBIILITIES: 1. Grooming and bathing donkeys 2. Cleaning stalls and areas occupied by donkeys 3. Exercising and turning out donkeys 4. Leading donkeys during interpretive/educational programs (sounds like a fun interactive job!!)

TIME REQUIREMENTS: Approximately 32 hours per week, 4-5 days per week Hours flexible, weekends and holidays are required (spending Holidays with the donkeys? :( that is the down side to this job.

SKILLS/QUALIFICATIONS: Experience working with horses or donkeys. Should be reliable, patient, have a positive attitude and a willingness to learn. (that's me!!!! I have a positive attitude and I am ready to learn) Should have an interest in history, living history desirable (what is "living history" I think I have an interest in living history?), but not required. Good strength and endurance (I can do pushups and situps and I hike everyday!!!) to lead the donkeys, keep the stables clean, and maintain the compost program.

Rich Girl.. In the Process...

A wise friend told me that what I need to do is simply change my frame of mind.... he said that I need to concentrate on my amazing dreams... and simply render my value to society... THERE IS ALREADY A CHECK WAITING!!

I love it!!!! Although I am literally broke, I am truly rich in my life to have all of these amazing people to love me!!! Whoever said money can buy happiness (maybe) was wrong!! However, since this is all I know, I know that I am a rich girl in the process....

My friend (and smart business minded person) said that I need to focus on creating income so I can tell others what they will be paid instead of being told what compensation I should receive. That is true!! In fact, when I am in that position, if you, you and you want a position with me... YOU ARE HIRED, and the compensation I will reward you with will be HIGH!!!!

This made me consider the following: When I am the boss these will be MY RULES for my employees:

1. Be Happy.

2. Spread your happiness.

3. If you are not happy, call me!!!!

4. If I don't answer, call me again!!

5. Leave early if you have somewhere to be and only do the work that makes you happy.

6. Smile when I pay you.

7. When you leave work, share your happiness and money with others.

Tiffany Brooke aka Legally Broke

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me!!

I have always seriously loved birthdays...... so much in fact that I thought Birthday would be an amazing name for a child, because every time you heard that name it sounded like FUN!! But I got over that fast thinking of how that would sound as a teenager...

So for a recap of the exciting job prosepects for the week let's go in order of likely of doing it for now:

1. Retail-tainment.... Jordan (my brother and partner in job seeking, also a newly graduated law student with honors and a lot of experience) and I went to "audition" for an "infomercial"... this was difficult! This was an actual casting call.... so we each had a few minutes to go in and read them part of the script and out of all the actors that showed up, if we were good enough we got a "call back." So Jordan and I left that audition feeling pretty good.... we may soon be gainfully employed.. with benefits within 90 days!!!

2. Furniture Commercial: Our next stop was another "audition" for a furniture commercial... this would be where you lounge on the furniture and act really natural, talking on your phone, using your laptop or just kicking off your shoes and relaxing back.... Well, the guy who we met with, his hands were sweaty, sweaty and gross, and I was almost hoping this didn't work out because I never wanted to shake that hand again..... so we were taken up to the top of the floor room and after the audition attempted to shake hands again and let us know.... Jordan got the call back.. I didn't! So yesterday JOrdan went in for the shoot..... he walked around the store acted excited about the furniture and got paid!! Glad we went to law school for that!!

So as Jordan was leaving he asked to borrow a dolly--thingy because he is in the middle of moving out of his place... and they said no problem they had plenty!!! Just as he began the move he had an urgent phone call from the furniture store saying that they realized that he was in the "legal field" aka almost a lawyer and they needed that dolly back NOW because they didn't want to be sued for negligence or something....!! WHAT??

3. Spa Promos: Next on the list is the opportuity to sell spa promos for 90% off!!! Seriously you can get a $500 spa treatment for only $60!!! Door to door sales??! I have to pay off $200,000 in student loans.... I think it may take more than a few spa packages to get me set up!!!

4. Yesterdays "faux-interview".

Looks like you will see us at a Retailtainment Location Near you Very soon!!!!

Legally Broke Chick....

Another day in the world of the unemployed.... it is crazy going from being in school basically your entire life (8 years for college and law school) to the "real world" I always looked forward to the real world... when I could live off more than financial aid because I needed to "focus on my studies" and possibly upgrade my wardtrobe or 2001 Jetta that still feels kinda new beecause my leather still smells like Crayola crayons... same as day 1.... so as I ventured home to keep job search I decided to share my journeys and hopefully through this you can share your journeys and exciting stories and disappointments with me!!!

My interview today... I researched the company, mapped out my possible territory, cold called businesses to see if they wouldd be interested in my potential employer etc... I mean I was prepared... put on my suit and was ready to take anyone on... as I parked downtown I thought... I got this!!! I met my "interviewer" who right away said... actually this position is most likely already filled... but I wanted to get to know you better... what!!! all this research... showering and getting ready... a big break in the day for the unemployed..... I WANT A JOB!! I love to small talk and it makes me happiest to learn new things and meet as many people as I can, but seriously.... when I am turning in pennies to make a quarter so I can pay the meter just to meet you and you tell me you just want to learn more about me because I have so much "potential!" What is potential if you can't use it??

Let me know!!

Tiffany Brooke aka Legally Broke